Nhờ giúp sửa Essay

[vha08]

Anh oi em nam nay muon apply underwood international college o Han
Quoc , em dang trogn qua trinh chinh sua essay , em lien he voi Equest
thi phi' rat' dat' a 200- 400$
em len mang search thi vao vietaboarder thay anh edit cho 1 em va em y
da duoc nhan a . em dang khong biet' nho` ai chinh sua a . lieu anh co
the giup em duoc ko a essay cua em duoi' 650 tu` a

Anh ơi em năm nay muốn apply Underwood International College ở Hàn Quốc, em đang trong quá trình chỉnh sửa essay, em liên hệ với Equest thì phí rất đắt ạ ($200 - $400)

Em lên mạng search thì vào vietabroader thấy anh edit cho 1 em và em ý đã được nhận ạ. Em không biết nhờ ai chỉnh sửa ạ. Liệu anh có thể giúp em được không ạ, essay của em dưới 650 từ ạ

Em muốn tôi giúp hoàn thiện bài admission essay thì đăng ký làm thành viên của www.xuatnhapcanh.com rồi đăng bài essay của em trên mục "Admission Essay". Tôi sẽ giúp em sửa bài cho đến khi em hài lòng với bài luận của mình. Tôi không sửa bài riêng qua email cho một ai nữa.

Em chấp nhận điều kiện đăng bài trên diễn đàn XNC, thì tôi sửa. Em không cần phải trả tiền cho tôi. Nếu không chịu thì trả tiền cho Equest, họ làm cho em.

 

[Luna Nguyễn]

recomendation from manager

đây là recomendation cháu viết ,là manager viết cho 1 nhân viên làm tiếp tân tại sân tập golf ạ.
cháu nghĩ nội dung nên ngắn gọn đơn giản.
chú xem hộ cháu được không ạ

To whom it may concern,

It is great pleasure for me to recommend Ms. Nguyen Phuong Thao, my staff in Phuong Dong Golf course. As her Manager, I would like to give some information so you can know more about her.

Thao has worked as a receptionist in Phuong Dong Golf course from March, 2011 until now. When I read her application form, I was afraid that she was too young to work at this position. But after the interview, I was impressed by not only her ability of communication and English speaking skill but also her enthusiasm to work. Only after one month of work, she persuaded me and other staff by her abilities and virtues like communicating in English with foreign custom fluently, going to work punctually, being friendly and helpful with work-mates…

Personally I believe that she could be good at working as well as studying because I always see enthusiasm and determination in her. When I know that she is thinking about going study aboard, I can feel a bright future is waiting for her. I am sure that Thao will be a successful student at your college.

I am willing to give you more information if you need via my email:


Yours sincerely,

 

[vha08]

Phuong Dong Golf course
Địa chỉ
Tên người manager
Phone


To whom it may concern

It is my immense pleasure to recommend one of my best staff members, Ms. Nguyen Phuong Thao into your school for the next academic year. As her manager at Phuong Dong Golf Course, her intelligence, and work performing, and diligence outweigh any others members of her team, and impressed me very much.

This is a recommendation letter from your employer. It must be written in a professional format and in Time New Roman font. I believe you prepare the letter for your boss to sign it. It is not an admission essay as you mention in your email. Don't underestimate the admission committee. They will know the letter is faked.

I will rewrite the whole letter for you, and will help you any which way I can without any monetary compensation. However, all I ask from you is be honest with me.

 

[Luna Nguyễn]

Thanks so much for your reply.
I am working as a receptionist in Phuong Dong Golf Course , from 8.am to 2 p.m on Monday , Tuesday , Wednesday and full time on Thursday.
My manager cannot use English well so he said that he would sign my recomendation letter.

Actually I have to edit 2 things : this letter and my admission essay . I am editing my essay so can I post it here later ?

Thank you alot.

 

[Luna Nguyễn]

this is my admission essay that I mentioned .

the topic is " Choose a real person with whom you have or had a direct relationship (relative, teacher, friend, etc.) or a character that is either fictional or historical. Describe in detail how that person or character changed the way you look at the world around you or at life in general "

Words required : ~ 550 words

“Daddy is everything to me” is my favorite Vietnamese song when I was a little girl. At that time, I was attracted to this song only because of its merry, bright, catchy melody. However, as time goes by, I have now realized that this song’s lyric is also very meaningful. My father, a very influential person to me, has always been on my side and encouraged me to overcome difficulties. Indeed, he truly means the world to me.

My father has his own way to cheer me up and help me believe in myself whenever I get in trouble or failures. When I was in the 5th grade, I was chosen to participate in the Annual Information Technology Contest for primary pupils. Being overconfident of winning the Third Prize in this contest the previous year, I did not review my IT lessons carefully. As a result, I was anxious in the test and forgot to save one part of my work. Seeing me going out of the test room with an upset face, my father just asked me what number my computer in test room was. When he knew it was number 9, he smiled at me and said in a warm voice: “Do you know the total of the digits of every number divisible by 9 is 9?” It is special, and so are you”. Hearing that, I felt relieved. Inside those cheerful words I understood that my father not only gave me optimism and confidence but also the serious determination. Hence, I left my sadness behind to focus on the next exams. I passed the entrance exams to Hanoi-Amsterdam (Secondary and High) School for the Gifted then Banking Academy.

During the freshmen year in Banking Academy, I officially started chasing my studying aboard dream which had stayed in me since high school. Knowing that I was planning to improve my English thoroughly, my father gave me an Oxford Dictionary with his epigraph: “Dedicated to my Beloved Daughter”. I considered it my closest companion and plunged into hard-work with inspiration and strength of mind. I spent 2 hours each day doing Cambridge Ielts textbooks; noted every new word I found on day-runner and tried to use them reasonably. Besides, I chose Discovery Channel as a learning tool and realized that it not only improved my listening skill but also provide many interesting information about ways to use English and international cultures as well. I practiced speaking in front of the mirror popular topics such as environment conservations, developments of technology and human relations...etc or even just talked about what I saw and my sudden feelings. Before bed time I relaxed with Speaking English application on cell phone, its installed native voice did really help. One of my hobbies in free time was reading books written in English, I began with fairy tales for kids then longer stories and novels. Sometimes I was tired, but thinking about the road I had been through and the successful days ahead stimulated me.” The road leading to success can be bitter, but its result is sweet”- my father’s words have always made me a go-getter.

I remember the time of entrance exam to college, my father stood at the school gate and said: “Come in, I am standing behind you and will be there till the test is over”. His encouragement was so touching that I almost burst into tears. Since that moment, I have given my word that my father will forever be my greatest source of strength and support. Thanks to the teachings of my father, I have become who I am today: optimism and live dedicatedly. Looking at his affectionate eyes and grey-haired, I have sworn to myself that I will not ever let him down because he has given me a priceless gift: his trust. My father is the person who has influenced me the most and is the greatest person I have ever known.​

words: 656

 

[vha08]

Read the topic again.

"...how that person or character changed the way you look at the world around you or at life in general "

This essay is perfect for your essay's topic http://xuatnhapcanh.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11346

Remember: No need to show to the admission committee, how well you are doing in school. Your transcript shows all your grades. It's your personal characteristic, or your point of view on real life experiences that the school would like to seek in you.

 

[Luna Nguyễn]

Thanks for your comments. I will rewrite my essay